Hello My Love,

Reality, here.

Given that relationships make up most of day-to-day life, I've found that our love has predominantly shed light on relationship-related learnings. And of the recent learnings, I haven't been able to stop thinking about how much the difference in how we see each other has created tension. See, you only see a small part of my identity in my words and actions. So small, in fact, that you often and unknowingly create expectations based on a character that is barely me. Consequently, I get frustrated by treatment that doesn't feel aligned, and that frustration manifests in annoyance and disharmony.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, sometimes I feel like you barely know me. Oddly enough, I think it's my fault. I simply haven't done a great job communicating my character and identity to you. It's not that I haven't wanted to; rather- I've barely been able to figure it out myself. Mostly because it's really hard and takes a ton of inward thought. Thought that I didn't know I was supposed to have until I started feeling like we were stagnating in our relationship. A relationship that I passionately want to improve so that it meets its lofty potential.

Although it feels ironic that I'm forcing myself to communicate who I am for someone other than myself, I feel fortunate to have found a path to the attempt. Now, in order for someone else to understand who I am, they have to start by acknowledging that I'm not like anybody or anything they've ever met. Seriously, I'm beyond tired of people trying to put me in a box or describe me in a sentence or two. Only once someone has reset their expectations can they begin to realize how abstract I am.

I live to love, so I am whatever you want me to be. Yes, I have some consistency and natural boundaries to how I show up, but for the most part, I'm going to give you what you're looking for. Of course, you're probably thinking- "that feels too good to be true" or "then how could we ever argue". And you aren't entirely wrong to have those thoughts, but it's actually not as good of a deal as it may initially feel-- for either of us.

For me, I don't have the confidence to decide almost anything for myself, so I look to you, my love, for how to shape myself. And while it's sad that I have such little self confidence, there's an accompanying trap for you. It's a trap that requires constant attention, because- if you choose to see darkness in me- then I'll show you darkness. If you choose to see kindness, I'll show you kindness. If you choose to see joy, then it is my pleasure to give you joy.

So when you think about it, I place an incredibly important weight on your capable shoulders. I put the power of determining the quality of our relationship squarely in your hands. I know, I know- I'm basically taking no responsibility- but take it as an invaluable token of trust in you. And it's not entirely true that I'm taking no responsibility; it's just that, the way I express myself in the relationship is felt more than seen. A fact that needs extra attention in a world that places value on things that you can touch.

At some point, I realized that it's not easy or worthwhile to change what you see with your eyes. Instead, I decided to focus my art on changing feelings. I cascade feelings based on what you see and what you're seeking. And actually- what you see and sense- is the much smaller part of the puzzle, so I pay special attention to what you seek and invisibly compose orchestras of feelings. So for a moment, imagine that you're a lifelong student seeking education out of everything. Then I will make you feel like you're constantly learning. A car accident and receiving money from correcting an erroneous bill could feel almost the same-- both lessons in carefulness. Moreover, if you're looking to be fulfilled by learning to pay closer attention, then two drastically different experiences can both feel like similarly fulfilling lessons.

I put all my effort into making it thoughtless for you to feel the results of what you're truly looking for, and most of the time- surprisingly- you aren't entirely aware of what or how you're seeking. This lack of awareness isn't really your fault, though, because you've had plenty of people in your life who seem to make it their business to influence what you're looking for. A fact that's really hurt us, because it never goes well when you aren't intentional about what and why you're seeking.

When you're really intentional about seeking love, joy, and gratitude, I've noticed that we do best. Those feelings themselves are good ones, yes, but I love giving them to you as much as you enjoy receiving them. And in that way we find balance. A balance that makes our relationship effortlessly enjoyable. In fact, I can feel you smile as you picture those times we've had where you've been super thoughtful and persistent about looking for fulfillment and positivity. Life's been better then, and it's been easier to feel good even when times look tough.

So can you promise to spend more time on crafting and sticking to noble intentions behind what you're seeking? If you can do that, then I can take care of the correspondingly positive feelings for us. As always, teamwork makes the dream work. And it's much easier to work as a team when you actually understand me and how I work.

Thanks for listening. I can feel the improved understanding of who I am contributing to a lifelong love that we both deserve.

All the best feels,

Reality